Forgiveness is often misunderstood, and that misunderstanding can keep people from pursuing the freedom that comes with it. The Bible teaches that forgiveness is central to faith, rooted in God’s mercy, and essential for believers. God offers total forgiveness for sins through Jesus Christ. Consequently, believers are commanded to forgive others, including enemies, as an act of obedience and reflection of God’s grace, rather than holding grudges. Clarifying what forgiveness is and what it isn’t is essential in gaining the healing that God wants us to experience when we walk this out in our daily lives.
Forgiveness is:
- Releasing the emotional hold that pain has on you
- Allowing God to heal the wounds
- Choosing peace over prolonged pain
Forgiveness is not:
- Pretending something didn’t happen
- Allowing someone to continue hurting you
- Forgetting the past
When I am supporting people as they walk through the process of forgiveness, we often come to a place of evaluating what boundaries would be healthy for the relationship. It’s important to understand that forgiveness and boundaries go hand in hand. You can forgive someone for hurts that have happened and still choose distance. You can release resentment while also guarding your heart and communicating healthy boundaries. One of the biggest fears people have is that healing will be overwhelming- that they will have to face everything all at once. But true healing is gentle. It happens step by step, layer by layer. You don’t have to unpack everything in one moment. You simply have to be willing to begin.
There are many pathways that can support this process, including holistic approaches that involve the body, soul and spirit. Some of the techniques that I use involve emotional realignment, using acupressure points and tapping to help release stored stress and signal to the body that it is safe to let go of the hurt. Essential oils are another tool that help the body release and realign in forgiveness. The sense of smell is directly connected to the brain’s emotion and memory centers, which is why certain smells can bring back memories so vividly. Inviting God into your pain- into the very memories that still carry weight- can bring a level of restoration that goes beyond what we can do on our own. Scripture reminds us that He restores our soul.
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. Psalm 23
Healing doesn’t always happen all at once, but there are signs that forgiveness is taking place. You may notice:
- You can think about a person or situation without intense emotional reactions
- You feel more peace instead of tension or anxiety
- You are able to set healthy boundaries without guilt
- You respond rather than react emotionally
The memory will still be there, but it no longer controls you. That is what freedom feels like. Many people are doing everything they know to do for their health- eating well, exercising, taking supplements, even using medication when needed. These things can be helpful, and sometimes necessary. But they are not the full picture. If emotional wounds remain unaddressed, they can continue to impact the body, soul, and spirit. True healing requires looking at the whole person. God’s desire for you is not just survival, but to live fully. To experience peace in your mind, ease in your body, and freedom in your spirit.
Steps in Pursuit
- Prayerfully ask God to reveal to you if there are people or circumstances that need the healing of forgiveness. Write down what He reveals so that you can begin partnering with Him.
- Begin to identify the emotions that are still connected to those memories. Try using a simple tapping exercise right below the collarbones. While tapping say out loud, “I am willing to forgive _________________ for these feelings of ____________________.”
I encourage you to repeat this statement a couple more times to reinforce this release.
- Evaluate what boundaries are needed in the situation to promote safety and healing.
Healing is possible. You are not alone. And with God, there is always a path forward- one step at a time.
Continue the Pursuit,
Denise
