Blazing a new trail has challenges. It is so much easier to stay on the path that has been well worn over time. When we begin to explore territory that goes against the accepted norm, we begin to run into some resistance. That resistance may come from within, relationships around us, or societal culture at large.
Now I must confess there have been times when blazing a different trail has gotten me into trouble. Take for example, the time we took the kids to Disney World. It was the end of a long day and we were waiting to see the fireworks as the grand finale. We had found our spot in the huge crowd and I had to run to the restroom. By the time I was making my way back to our spot, Disney staff had roped off the sidewalk and were directing everyone across the street, and down the other side. Now, I was only a few yards away from where my family was standing. I was not about to go through that huge crowd on the other side of the road out of my way when I was so close. There just happened to be a man in front of me heading in the direction I wanted to go, so I jumped behind him and began moving towards my family. It didn’t take long for the staff to recognize that someone was going against the grain and started calling to the man to stop. I on the other hand was gently nudging him to move on faster. By the time the staff stopped us, I had jumped over into my spot with the family. I heard the staff say, “Sir, you can’t go this direction down the sidewalk.” The man responded, “ I know, but there was a little woman behind me, who kept nudging me in this direction.”
When we begin to question the way we manage stress and the relational patterns that have been formed in our families, we often run into resistance. We may hear a voice within that says, “You are going to make someone angry if you begin to set different boundaries.” You may even feel the fear of losing a relationship when you begin to respond in healthier ways. Some of these patterns have been flowing down the family line for generations. We encounter spiritual push back as well, when we begin to break free from some of the control and ungodly power that has kept us stuck from growing and healing. Jesus encountered this as a trailblazer. He was rejected by those closest to him when he didn’t perform according to their expectations. He was able to walk in love and forgiveness, while maintaining the course correction that was his mission.
John Eldredge, in his book Beautiful Outlaw, puts it this way:
How much of what we do is motivated by fear of man? Think of it-
To be entirely free of false guilt, free from pressure, from false allegiances. It would be absolutely extraordinary. This is what gives Jesus the ability to say such startling honest things to people. It is what enables him to be so scandalous. Jesus was free from the fear of man… He is true to himself, true to his Father, true to what the moment most requires, true to love (pp.129-130).
It is not easy to go against the flow, to push forward against resistance, when you know it is the path that leads to healing, but it is worth the cost.
Steps in Pursuit
- Identify the resistance you may be facing as you pursue healthier relational patterns in your life.
- Are you making decisions to please others rather than being honest about your feelings and needs?
- What support would help you begin to take some steps in a new direction? Being involved in counseling, a support group, or an accountability partner may offer the encouragement to face the challenges of change.
Growth will not happen, if we give into the resistance of change. All of us need a gentle nudge ever once in a while!
Whether you turn to the right or to the left your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it” (Isaiah 30:21).
Continue the Pursuit,
Denise Horner
