May is a month for graduation. Students are celebrating the joy of completing a season of growth and achievements. Even though it is a joyful time, there can be some challenges in facing the changes that lie ahead. For both students and parents these changes often bring some uncomfortable adjustments. Parents may need some extra grace as they get used to the idea of children preparing to leave home for the first time. Author Dr. Stephen Graves, had some helpful advice to share with parents of graduates:
Spring time always signals a launch of high schoolers and collegians fueling up their planes and heading to the end of the runway. Classes wind down, resumes get polished, and parents grapple with a new reality. After years of car-pooling, chasing them all over the region, watching their games and shows, and making their favorite dessert, it is time to let them go. The direct parental tutorials are going to shift to a new model. It is time to let them fly the plane. Mr. Graves encourages five great moves:
- Let go, but don’t disconnect.
Just as graduation is an inevitable event in the lives of most students, so too is the relational shift that accompanies it. It’s a natural and needed part of your child’s life. Delaying it, fighting it, or ignoring it won’t stop it. It will only make the shift more painful and the launch less successful.
- Inject mighty vision into their soul.
As parents, we need to paint a picture of what kind of life is worth chasing. We have to help harness their ambition to the right pursuits. What if instead of a life marked by accomplishments, we told them of a flourishing life, one rich with meaning and satisfaction? Not just any life, but the life God intended specifically for them.
- Trust yourself, trust them, trust God.
Trust the work you’ve done as a parent over the years. Trust your child to apply what they’ve heard and seen. And trust God to be bigger, wiser, more powerful, and more gracious for your child than you could ever be.
- It’s time to celebrate.
Regardless of any mixed emotions that we may have at this time of transition, We must be careful not to let our feelings dampen our children’s joy. We must do our best to make this launch a celebration. A celebration of the moment itself. A celebration of our children. And even a celebration of ourselves. What if we celebrated the growth of things like faith, integrity, and valor with just as much enthusiasm as we did good grades? What if we celebrated the courage, kindness, and service that our children display with as much excitement as we exhibit over sports trophies, SAT scores, and scholarships?
- Double down on your own future.
We tend to underestimate just how much of our world has been dominated by our children. Sure, we see the busy schedules and bemoan the constant work as chauffeur, secretary, and short-order cook, but we rarely grasp the sheer scope of emotional and mental investment until the object of that investment has been removed. It is time to reflect on the direction you need to take in this change. What are you passionate about? What brings you joy? What challenges you? The same questions you were guiding your son or daughter through now belong to you.
Steps in Pursuit
- Consider writing a letter to your graduate, celebrating the growth and changes you have witnessed over the past season.
- Prayerfully release your child to God and verbally commit to trusting God with their protection and provision for the future.
- Explore how God wants to partner in your life with next steps in this transition as a parent. Set some goals for your own personal growth.
Don’t let your work as a trainer and disciple stop with your children. Show them what it looks like to live a lifetime of meaning and impact.
Continue the Pursuit,
Denise
