The root of rejection begins to take hold early in our lives. The enemy makes sure that in the formation of our identity, wounds begin to bring limits in the way we define ourselves. Every child starts running for validation to their parents when they are young. Whether it is the latest piece of artwork with crayons drawn out on paper, or the Lego creation they have pieced together, children love to create. What their little souls long to hear is the blessing, “Well done!” We all have that longing in our souls, that empty space needing to be filled. Even Jesus needed the Father’s blessing when he was preparing to start his earthly ministry. Matthew 3:17 describes the beautiful scene, as Jesus received this blessing from his father at his baptism:
As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and lighting on him. And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.” (NIV)
Receiving the Father’s blessing and the anointing of Holy Spirit, empowered Jesus to walk in his true identity and calling. As you continue to read in Matthew chapter 4, it was immediately questioned by the enemy. The words “If you are…” were used to try to create doubt and offer the temptation for Jesus to prove himself. When we look to people, rather than our heavenly father for validation, we find ourselves struggling to prove our worth. The Spirit of Rejection sets us up like a hamster on a wheel, striving to please others so that we can finally fill that empty space in our souls. Fear drives us to try harder in order to reach perfection. All the while, the ultimate goal of Rejection is to get us to reject ourselves. When we agree to self-rejection, no amount of validation from others will be enough to heal the wounds. We can hear the words, “Well done…” but they ring empty in our hearts because we do not love and accept ourselves. Breaking free from this cycle of unending pain starts with accepting that we are unconditionally loved by our heavenly father. The Apostle Paul knew this freedom, when he wrote in Ephesians 3,
And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. (Vs. 17-19, NIV)
When we align our hearts to God’s, his unconditional love begins to transform the way we love and accept ourselves. We can begin to live out of the blessing of being known and loved for who we are and not how we perform. I never cease to be amazed as I walk with people on their healing journey, how sweet and loving the Father is as he invites them into his rest and validates their worth as his children.
Steps in Pursuit:
- What areas of your life are you trying to gain the validation of others through your performance? Begin to step into freedom by accepting yourself in those areas.
- Write I John 4:19 on an index card and place it on a mirror where you will see it every day. Declare out loud as you look at yourself in the mirror: “I love myself, because He first loved me.”
- Identify people in your life that you need to forgive for intentionally or unintentionally withholding blessing. Thank God that he freely blesses you with his loving acceptance.
Love is the key that unlocks our true identities. Friends, rejection is not something that we avoid in this life, but God has given us what we need through his unconditional love to master it!
Continue the Pursuit,
Denise
