Healing Rejection
As a counselor, I walk with people all the time who have been deeply wounded by rejection in relationships. This is an issue that we all have to heal from at some point in our lives. Childhood is a time that we can struggle with the wounds of rejection from parents, siblings or friends. When we experience rejection early in life, the pain can begin to reinforce a false identity for us of “unlovable” or “not good enough”. This vulnerability that we feel opens the door wide for a spirit of fear to enter in and take hold in our lives. I have seen this tag-team enemy attack often in people’s stories. A Spirit of Rejection threatens future hurt, while the Spirit of Fear offers us a form of protection by promoting anxiety and worry in relationships. When we listen to the threats of these two spiritual voices, we can find ourselves blocked from hearing the assurance of God’s loving voice.
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7, NKJV)
The fear that permeates the worldly atmosphere is in direct conflict with the heart of God for us. Where the Bible clearly communicates a loving God that has loved and accepted us and has identified with us in the pain of rejection, the Spirit of Rejection uses the rejection of man to reinforce the belief that God will reject me as well. From the very beginning of our human history, if you look in the book of Genesis, you find man hiding from God for fear of punishment and rejection. Time and time again, however, we see just the opposite taking place as the story plays out. God, the maker of the universe, comes looking for us.
Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.” (Genesis 3: 8-10, NIV)
Has the past pain of rejection caused you to hide in relationships? Have you hid from people and even God himself, because you are fearful of being seen? Believe me friends, I know what that feels like! I have done my own share of hiding. Even this week God has been revealing some deeply rooted wounds of rejection and fear in my own life that He has been healing. I know how hard it is to let your guard down and allow God to heal the wounds of the past but the power of love is an amazing healing agent. And the only one who loves us perfectly is God.
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us. (I John 4:18-19, NIV)
Steps in Pursuit:
- Begin to identify, specific times in your life that you have experienced rejection from others. A timeline is a helpful tool to use in marking down the specific time periods of hurt.
- Healing can begin as you honestly recognize the wounds. Begin to prayerfully invite God to heal those hurtful memories.
- Identify the places of “hiding” that fear has driven you to. These hiding places can be work, hobbies, entertainment, etc.
I invite you to step into this safe place of healing with me. It can feel very lonely when we are hiding, but I can assure you, you are not alone. In fact healing from rejection has been a huge motivator in my hosting the Beyond the Veil conference at the end of May. God wants his children to know how deep and wide His love is for them. He is inviting us to enter into a deeper place of intimacy with Him that will help us overcome all fear in His perfect love. We will continue over the next few chats to pursue healing from rejection, so until next time…
Continue the Pursuit,
Denise
